Good friends reviewing movies just for you

It’s award season, bitches!

Golden Globes!  Golden Globes!

Let’s do this.

462623113XX00004_71st_Annua

Perfection embodied

First, can we talk about Tina Fey and Amy Pohler?  Seriously, these women are amazing.  And that first dress that Tina had on was just stunning.  I cannot get enough of these two.  They should just have them host forever.

I attended a Golden Globes viewing party at my local awesome theater with my local awesome friends.  They had everyone fill out a ballot beforehand to win fabulous prizes.  I don’t think I won any fabulous prizes.  BUT I feel like I did okay on my ballot!  There were 17 awards on the ballot and I picked 10 correctly.  Defending what I got wrong is more interesting that saying, “I goddamn told you so” about what I got right, so here are my opinions about that stuff.

Best Musical/Comedy
I chose: Her     Winner: American Hustle

I don’t have any beef here.  I will admit that I’ve only seen a preview for Her and I think it looks pretty awesome.  But I enjoyed American Hustle.  Way, WAY more than Inside Llewyn Davis.  But that is a rant for another time.

Best Actor in a Drama
I chose: Chiwetel Ejiofor     Winner: Matthew McConaughey

I can’t really argue with this, either.  Both fantastic performances.  McConaughey deserved the award, but I didn’t think he’d get it because I was rooting for Jared Leto so hard and I didn’t think they’d give two actor awards to Dallas Buyer’s Club.  I am happy to have been wrong.

I'm leaving most of my fashion observations out of this, but seriously.  WTF?

I’m leaving most of my fashion observations out of this,
but seriously. WTF?

 

Best Actor in a Musical/Comedy
I chose: Christian Bale     Winner: Leonardo DiCaprio

I also haven’t seen Wolf of Wall Street, so maybe Leo turned in an amazing performance.  But I know there was a lot of talk (and oh, the memes!) about him getting passed over for an Oscar for Django and I wonder if this is the HFP’s way of saying, “We’re sorry.”  Because Christian Bale was pretty great in American Hustle.

Best TV Series, Musical/Comedy
I chose: Modern Family     Winner: Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I hadn’t even heard of Brooklyn Nine-Nine until the Golden Globes.  Now I feel like I’m missing something.  Modern Family is still awesome.

Best Actor in a TV Series, Musical/Comedy
I chose: Jason Bateman     Winner: Andy Samberg

Who ever thought that Andy Samberg would get best actor in…anything?  Really, this Brooklyn Nine-Nine stuff was totally out of the blue.  Still, one of Amy Pohler’s best jokes of the night was, “You might know Andy from his hit song, ‘I’m on a Boat.’ Which this year was adapted into the Tom Hanks film Captain Phillips.”  Hee!  So I can’t be too mad.  (Other favorite joke: “Bradley Cooper is here, star of American Hustle. Interesting trivia: The original title of that movie was Explosion at the Wig Factory.”  So many good jokes, you guys.)

Best Actress in a TV Series, Drama
I chose: Tatiana Maslany     Winner: Robin Wright

This one made me kind of mad.  I haven’t seen House of Cards and everyone says it’s amazing.  I’m sure it is, and Robin Wright is a great actress.  But has anyone at the Hollywood Foreign Press seen Orphan Black?  Because I have.  And I’m pretty sure that Tatiana Maslany plays like six totally different characters flawlessly.  That is not easy and  I feel like she got robbed.

Best Original Score Motion Picture
I chose: Gravity     Winner: All is Lost

No one cares.  I picked Gravity because there wasn’t a ton of dialogue.  Mostly it was just Sandra Bullock talking to herself.  I guess I forgot that All is Lost had even LESS dialogue, and was entirely made up of Robert Redford talking to himself.  So I suppose it was a better showcase for the music of that adorable guy who accepted this award.  I think the biggest story here is how Alex Ebert and Jared Leto are working in tandem to show how goddamn sexy long hair and beards can be.

Those are my opinions on the Golden Globes.  If you feel the need to fact check me, I did post a photo of my ballot to my Twitter feed before the show.  I don’t know why I would lie about getting almost half of my GG picks wrong, but maybe you think I did it just to pad out my word count.  If I wanted to do that, I would have just discussed how crazy/drunk Jacqueline Bisset was and how Woody Allen couldn’t even be bothered to show up for his lifetime achievement award.  I’m out!

Leave a comment